time is on my hands.

on thursday i signed up for a lunch and learn at the hospital for time management.

it was a trick.

it was for self management.

he lied to us.

it worked though b/c the class was full.

and we were all on time, if not early.

which for most of us, was probably the first time we had been on time for something so far this year...

so i think his mission was probably accomplished 5 minutes before the class even started.

he's a lot smarter than i gave him credit for.

so we had to close our eyes for an exercise.

i really can't get that deep in an hour,

but i played along anyway.

i was gettin paid good money for it, might as well.

with our eyes closed, we had a bucket and a present set before us.

we were to put all our problems, worries, stressors, etc. in the bucket.

i did that.

and then i snatched them right back out.

i always do.

but while my bucket was suppose to be full,

we were to open the present.

and the present contained something that made us completely happy

and content

with no worries

and no ill feelings

just joy

and lots of it.

so first i thought of my family.

but as i thought about that, hurt came into the picture.

hurt disguised as illness, the stent in my moms heart...

or empytiness that i feel when i think about my sister in japan...

or the future and what it might hold for my family.

that was too sad.

so i had to find something else.

which only took like 2 milliseconds (or whatever they are)

the ones that go so fast on a stopwatch that you can't even see them.

and you know where my mind went?

419 S. Farnum Street

Friendsville

i imagined walking in the front doors to the smell of coffee

and the smiling faces

i imagined hands raised in worship

being shoulder to shoulder with people who struggle just like me

and aren't afraid of it

i imagined God showing up week after week to meet us there

right where we are

no questions asked.

i imagined the feeling that i have when i leave that place and feel on top of the world

and being equipped to get me through another day.

i had not one ill feeling.

and i tried hard to think of something so my special place didn't have to be the 'God and Jesus' answer.

but i went right back to those four wonderful walls that in it i have experienced things that i never knew could exist in a relationship with Christ.

tomorrow i will likely be 15 minutes late to work

forget to make important phone calls

miss a meeting.

and come home to a messy house.

thanks to that guy who lied to us.

but i really like what i found in that package.

so i guess i will work on time management some other time.

don't tell that speaker guy, i think he would be disappointed in me.